Can We Control What Goes In?

We are what we are because of what goes into our minds and hearts. (Zig Ziglar)

One of the reasons I displayed it prominently (above statement) is that it's the best statement I ever found about the significance of an education. We are not talking about just formal education, but all education. We truly are what we are because of what goes into our minds and hearts. Almost everyday we were being deluged from all sides with a torrent of words. The pictures those words represent get into our heads and have a strong effect on the way we think and the way we talk. Obviously, we can't control all the messages we are blitzed with, but we have more control than we think. We can do two things to make sure our hearts and minds full of good words:

1. Screen out the thrash: Would we let someone come into our home and dump a big bag of thrash all over our living room? If we wouldn't let someone dump thrash in our living room, they why do we let them dump thrash into our minds and hearts? Simply paying more attention to our input (what comes and goes in), we can easily screen out much of the negative. For example, we can change TV channels and radio stations, we can close offensive reading materials, and we can avoid, at least to some extent, being around people who drag us down with their glum conversation. In other words, we can eliminate a lot of negative input.

2. Start the day with positive input: Words always reveal what is going on inside our minds and hearts. Start our day by putting something good into our minds and hearts e.g. we get up ealier than we needed to, before doing anything, we sit down in the quiet of the morning with a cup of hot coffee and something uplifting to read. It has a positive effect on us for the remainder of the day. It affects not only our thinking but also our talking for the rest of the day. It's one of the best habit we can have, if we want to. We must remember that a man's words will always express what has been stored in his heart.

I believe that if we are practising such habit then we will improve our well being, thus will improve our resiliency. Healthy medical students will produce healthy future medical doctors. Healthy medical doctors will result in better treatment for patients, and eventually it will make healthier society. Think, think and think!

reference

1. Hal Urban (2004). Positive Words, Powerful Results. Fireside Book, Simon & Schuster; New York.

The Power of Words

A careless word may kindle strife.

A cruel word may wreck a life.

A bitter word may hate instill.

A brutal word may smite and kill.

A gracious word may smooth the way.

A joyous word may light the day.

A timely word may lessen stress.

A loving word may heal and bless.

As medical personals we must remember, words that come out from our mouth have the power to destroy or heal. When words are both true and kind, they can positively influence our care and treatment on our patients. Thus, we have to use positive words when communicating with our patients. The question is when we have to learn it? the answer is we have to learn this important skills during our undergraduate medical training. Hopefully it will help us to maintain our level of professionalism and well being. Positive words may lessen stress, enhance our well being, and may improve patient care. Every word that we speak is a chance to change what is bad into something good.

"WORDS MAKE US HUMAN"

reference

1. Hal Urban (2004). Positive Words, Powerful Results. Fireside Book, Simon & Schuster; New York.

What Determines Focus & Assertiveness?

Every behavior has a purpose, or an intent, that the behavior is trying to fulfill. People engage in behaviors based on their intent, and do what they do based on what seems to be most important in any given moment. Four general intents have been identified that determine how we will behave in any given situation or circumstance, these four intents are:

1. Get the task done

2. Get the task right

3. Get along with people

4. Get appreciation from peole

Just as we choose what to wear from a variety of clothing styles, so we choose from a variety of behaviors that are situationally dependent. We may have a favourite shirt or pair of pants, an we may also have a behavioral style that we prefer. But rather than having one behavioral style all the time, our behavior changes as our priorities change. We may find it helpful to identify these four intents in ourselves, and recognize their connection to our own behavior in various types of situations. This will make us easier to observe and understand in others.

"AS OUR INTENT CHANGES, SO DOES OUR BEHAVIOR"

reference:

1. Dr Rick Brinkman & Dr Rick Kirschner (1994). Dealing With People You Cant Stand. McGraw-Hill.

Dealing with The 10 Most Unwanted List

You may agree or disagree with this or that person about who's the difficult person and who is not. 10 specific behavior paterns have been identified that sane people resort to when they feel threatened or thwarted, that represent their struggle with or withdrawal from undesired circumstances. Here are the 10 difficult behaviors that represent normal people at their worst (Understanding their behaviors may help medical students or medical doctors deal with them).

1. The Tank: The Tank is confrotational, pointed, and angry, the ultimate is pushy and agrresive behavior.

2. The Sniper: whether through rude comments, bitting sarcasm, or a well-timed roll of the eyes, making you look foolish is The Sniper's specialty.

3. The Grenade: after a brief period of calm, The Grenade explodes into unfocused ranting and raving about things that have nothing to do with the present circumstances.

4. The Know-It-All: seldom in doubt, The Know-It-All has a low tolerance for correction and contradiction. If something goes wrong, however, The Know-It-All will speak with the same authority about who's to blame-you.

5. The-Think-They-Know-It-All: Think-They-Know-It-Alls can't fool all the people all of the time, but they can fool some of the people enough of the time, and enough of the people all of the time-all for the sake of getting some attention.

6. The Yes Person: in an effort to please people and avoid confrontation, Yes People say "yes" without thinking things through. They react to the latest demands on their time by forgetting prior commitments, and overcommit until they have no time for themselves. Then they become recentful.

7. The Maybe Person: in a moment of decision, the Maybe Person procrastinates in the hope that a better choice will present itself. Sadly, with most decisions, there comes a point when it is too little, too late, and the decision makes itself.

8. The Nothing Person: no verbal feedback, no nonverbal feedback. Nothing. What else could you expect from... The Nothing Person.

9. The No Person: more deadly to morale than a speeding bullet, more powerful than hope, able to defeat big ideas with a single syllable. Disguised as a mild mannered normal person, the No Person fights a never ending battle for futility, hopelessness, and despair.

10. The Whiner: Whiners feel helpless, and overwhelmed by an unfair world. Their standard is perfection, and no one and nothing measures up to it. But misery loves company, so they bring their problems to you. Offering solutions makes you bad company, so their whining escalates.

These are the difficult people who most people cant' stand working with it, talking with, and dealing with. But if we are fed up with laziness, frustrated by bullies, disappointed in human nature, and tired of losing, don't upset or despair. Instead, remember that when dealing with difficult people, we always have a choice. In fact, we have 4 choices:

1. We can stay and do nothing.

2. We can vote with our feet.

3. We can change our attitude about our difficult person.

4. We can change our behavior.

It is up to us how we want to deal with them!

reference:

1. Dr Rick Brinkman & Dr Rick Kirschner (1994). Dealing With People You Cant Stand. McGraw-Hill.

Nurturing the Art of Resiliency

The most empowering finding in resliliency-psychology research is that we have an inborn predisposition to become resilient and change-proficient. Our resiliency can be nurtured through appropriate methods such as:

• remain calm under pressure, bounce back from setbacks, and avoid resiliency fatigue.


• improve our problem-solving skills by using 3 different methods; analytical, creative, and practical.


• keep a playful sense of humor, optimism, and positive feeling during difficult times.


• break free from inner barrier to resiliency by strengthening our inner "selfs" in healthy ways and overcoming the "good child" handicap.


• overcome tendencies to feel like a victim, and stay detached from "victim" reactions to others.


• appreciate our complex qualities such as selfish-unselfishness, optimitics-pessimism, and cooperative-nonconformity.


• develop our unique way of being resilient by being both self-reliant and socially responsible.


• discover how our natural desire to learn is what leads to our life getting better and better.


• become skillful at having things work well for ourselves and others.


• convert misfortune into good fortune.


• master the art of resiliency.

Our resiliency strengths come from self-motivated, self-directed learning, self-managed efforts to develop resiliency skills. Some people who hear or read about ways to become more resilient mistakenly think that the power lies in the recommended method. Just as a can opener doesn't open cans by itself, reading about resiliency skills doesn't make a person resilient. Resiliency comes from deciding to learn good skills for bouncing back from setbacks and working to have things turn out well. Our intention to develop resiliency methods that work for ourselves is what determines our success or failure.

reference:

1. Al Siebert (2005). The Resiliency Advantages: Master Change, Thrive Under Pressure, and Bounce Back From Setbacks. San Francisco, Berrett-Koehler Publisher INC.