Dealing with The 10 Most Unwanted List

You may agree or disagree with this or that person about who's the difficult person and who is not. 10 specific behavior paterns have been identified that sane people resort to when they feel threatened or thwarted, that represent their struggle with or withdrawal from undesired circumstances. Here are the 10 difficult behaviors that represent normal people at their worst (Understanding their behaviors may help medical students or medical doctors deal with them).

1. The Tank: The Tank is confrotational, pointed, and angry, the ultimate is pushy and agrresive behavior.

2. The Sniper: whether through rude comments, bitting sarcasm, or a well-timed roll of the eyes, making you look foolish is The Sniper's specialty.

3. The Grenade: after a brief period of calm, The Grenade explodes into unfocused ranting and raving about things that have nothing to do with the present circumstances.

4. The Know-It-All: seldom in doubt, The Know-It-All has a low tolerance for correction and contradiction. If something goes wrong, however, The Know-It-All will speak with the same authority about who's to blame-you.

5. The-Think-They-Know-It-All: Think-They-Know-It-Alls can't fool all the people all of the time, but they can fool some of the people enough of the time, and enough of the people all of the time-all for the sake of getting some attention.

6. The Yes Person: in an effort to please people and avoid confrontation, Yes People say "yes" without thinking things through. They react to the latest demands on their time by forgetting prior commitments, and overcommit until they have no time for themselves. Then they become recentful.

7. The Maybe Person: in a moment of decision, the Maybe Person procrastinates in the hope that a better choice will present itself. Sadly, with most decisions, there comes a point when it is too little, too late, and the decision makes itself.

8. The Nothing Person: no verbal feedback, no nonverbal feedback. Nothing. What else could you expect from... The Nothing Person.

9. The No Person: more deadly to morale than a speeding bullet, more powerful than hope, able to defeat big ideas with a single syllable. Disguised as a mild mannered normal person, the No Person fights a never ending battle for futility, hopelessness, and despair.

10. The Whiner: Whiners feel helpless, and overwhelmed by an unfair world. Their standard is perfection, and no one and nothing measures up to it. But misery loves company, so they bring their problems to you. Offering solutions makes you bad company, so their whining escalates.

These are the difficult people who most people cant' stand working with it, talking with, and dealing with. But if we are fed up with laziness, frustrated by bullies, disappointed in human nature, and tired of losing, don't upset or despair. Instead, remember that when dealing with difficult people, we always have a choice. In fact, we have 4 choices:

1. We can stay and do nothing.

2. We can vote with our feet.

3. We can change our attitude about our difficult person.

4. We can change our behavior.

It is up to us how we want to deal with them!

reference:

1. Dr Rick Brinkman & Dr Rick Kirschner (1994). Dealing With People You Cant Stand. McGraw-Hill.

Nurturing the Art of Resiliency

The most empowering finding in resliliency-psychology research is that we have an inborn predisposition to become resilient and change-proficient. Our resiliency can be nurtured through appropriate methods such as:

• remain calm under pressure, bounce back from setbacks, and avoid resiliency fatigue.


• improve our problem-solving skills by using 3 different methods; analytical, creative, and practical.


• keep a playful sense of humor, optimism, and positive feeling during difficult times.


• break free from inner barrier to resiliency by strengthening our inner "selfs" in healthy ways and overcoming the "good child" handicap.


• overcome tendencies to feel like a victim, and stay detached from "victim" reactions to others.


• appreciate our complex qualities such as selfish-unselfishness, optimitics-pessimism, and cooperative-nonconformity.


• develop our unique way of being resilient by being both self-reliant and socially responsible.


• discover how our natural desire to learn is what leads to our life getting better and better.


• become skillful at having things work well for ourselves and others.


• convert misfortune into good fortune.


• master the art of resiliency.

Our resiliency strengths come from self-motivated, self-directed learning, self-managed efforts to develop resiliency skills. Some people who hear or read about ways to become more resilient mistakenly think that the power lies in the recommended method. Just as a can opener doesn't open cans by itself, reading about resiliency skills doesn't make a person resilient. Resiliency comes from deciding to learn good skills for bouncing back from setbacks and working to have things turn out well. Our intention to develop resiliency methods that work for ourselves is what determines our success or failure.

reference:

1. Al Siebert (2005). The Resiliency Advantages: Master Change, Thrive Under Pressure, and Bounce Back From Setbacks. San Francisco, Berrett-Koehler Publisher INC.

The Resiliency - It is Hard to do but Worth the Effort

Resiliency refer to the ability to:

• cope well with high levels of ongoing disruptive change
• sustain good health and energy when under constant pressure
• bounce back easily from setbacks
• overcome adversities
• change to a new way of working and living when an old way no longer possible
• do all this without acting in dysfunctional or harmful ways.

When resilient people have their lives distrupted they handled their feelings in healthy ways. They allow themselves to feel grief, sad, anger, loss and confusion when hurt and distressed, but they don't let it become a permanent feeling state. An unexpected outcome is that they not only heal, they often bounce back stronger than before. This is why resilient people usually handle major difficulties and disaster easier than other. They rebuild their distrupted lives in a new way that works for them, and the struggle to overcome adversity develops new strengths in them.

Resilience is more important than ever in today's world. The volatile and chaotic period we are going through will not end soon. To sustain a good life for yourself and your family, you must be much more resilient than people had to be in the past. People with resiliency skills have a significant advantage over those who feel helpless or react like victims.

Resiliency is an essential skills in every job sector such as professional services; doctors, lawyers and etc, especially during times of turmoil. It is important to understand that when we are hit with life-distrupting events, we will never be the same again. We either cope or we crumble; We become better or bitter; we emerge stronger or weaker. It is up to us how we want to take it either in a positive way or in a negative way. We have to remember that it is not the strongest people will survive, it is not the most intelligence people will survive, but it is the people who are responsive to change will survive.

reference

1. Al Siebert (2005). The Resiliency Advantages: Master Change, Thrive Under Pressure, and Bounce Back From Setbacks. San Francisco, Berrett-Koehler Publisher INC.

Thrive Under Pressure

How do we respond to extreme stress and pressure? How do we respond to difficult moment? We react to the life's setbacks in many different ways. Some emotionally explode. We become enraged and flail around. We have emotional tantrums in which we may want to hurt someone. A few of us become physically violent.

Some of us do the opposite. We implode. We go numb. We feel so helpless and overwhelmed we can't even try to cope with what has happened.

Some of us potray ourselves as victims. We blame others for ruining our lives. We spiral downward, mired in unhappy thoughts and feelings. "This isn't fair," we complain over and over. "Look at what they've done to me now."

Then, there is another group, the people who get through their distress, orient quickly to the new reality, and cope with immediate challenges. They bounce back and often spiral upward, stronger and better than before. In the workplace, they convert what could be a major career difficulties into finding an even better career achievement and growth.

Highly resilient people are flexible, adapt to a new circumstances quickly, and thrive in constant change. Most importantly, they expect to bounce back and feel confident they will. They have a knack for creating good luck out of circumstance that many others see as bad luck.

In the past, individuals had to learn how to become resilient on their own. Now the new science of resiliency psychology can show us how to become quickly and easily resilient in a way that fits our world. Research into coping, optimism, hardiness, stress-resistance, post-traumatic growth, creativity, emotional intelligence, and the survivor personality has been identified as the main attributes of resiliency. We can learn how to use knowledge gained from the latest psychology research to develop our unique way of being resilient. Resilient people are the people who can thrive under pressure.

reference

1. Al Siebert (2005). The Resiliency Advantages: Master Change, Thrive Under Pressure, and Bounce Back From Setbacks. San Francisco, Berrett-Koehler Publisher INC.

Financial Intelligence

It was very uncommon for medical schools teach their medical students how to manage their money once they get some from their work as doctors in the future. Do our medical students ready and competence enough to manage their income? Can financial intelligence be taught and help them to be better doctors in the future? Why is so important for medical students to be financially competence? Does it relevance to medical students? Why i'm so concerned about this because I believe that by being financially competence, it promotes well-being of future medical doctors (this is another skill that we medical teachers have to look for). How does it promotes well-being of future doctors? The answer is very straight forward, everyone on the earth need money, thus, by managing your money intelligently you can minimise your money lost and you will maximize profits from your income. In other hand, if you are financially intelligence then you can let your money work for you and they generate extra income to your pocket. While you are treating patients your money generating income to your bank account. Does it sound interesting! I believe if doctors have enough money to support their family and themselves, they will treat patients full-heartedly without worrying about money. However, now it is not like that, it is another way around, perhap that is the reason why doctor are stressed, demotivated and not treating their patients well. May be one of the ways to overcome this problem is to teach our medical students about financial intelligence during their medical training. Hopefully with it we can produce better future doctors, not only they have good clinical skills but they are also know how to manage their money intelligently. Let's think about this together. If it is useful and feasible why don't we try it out and let see what is the students feedback about it.